


This one time your mom asked me to impregnate others for money

by dragonndoggod



Series: sex, spies and other small lies [3]
Category: Sex Pistols | Love Pistols
Genre: Bodyguard, Frustration, Gen, M/M, Shirou is frustrated, Spies, Spy - Freeform, archer inspired, bodyguarding, covert agent, older shirou, shirou is a covert agent, shirou is a spy, younger yonekuni
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-05-28
Updated: 2017-05-28
Packaged: 2018-11-06 02:49:37
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,762
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11027040
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dragonndoggod/pseuds/dragonndoggod
Summary: Frustrated with everything, Shirou sucks it up and lays down some rules.  He has no clue to how much Yonekuni is enjoying this.





	This one time your mom asked me to impregnate others for money

**Author's Note:**

> This could be a little dull, but I wanted Shirou have a few basic rules for Yonekuni to follow. Yonekuni is "excited" for this arrangement while Shirou isn't. I know I haven't written anything, I just haven't had time to sit down to type up my rough drafts. I'm two parts head in this universe and a few in my Sex Pistols/Red Dead Redemption universe. It's summer now, so I hope I can get some writing done. Title is a hint of what Makio had Shirou do while he was younger, more will be revealed later.
> 
> No Beta, all mistakes are my own.

Struggling to ignore the building of a headache, the sight of the hotel he had checked not so long ago came into view, the sidewalk nearly empty.  The sound of complaining being muffled by the heavy jacket Yonekuni wore, he tsked under his breath.  With the lingering scent of the sterile hospital on his skin, frustrated and the urge to just hang his head in defeat was one of the motivating factors to head back to his room with his charge in tow.  Another would be the follow up call he had gotten from his boss, Malory Archer, explaining in enough detail of what was being expected of him.  The tone of her voice, lit with amusement, though Shirou knew from past experience it was _her_ own amusement.

At him.

The fact that he had to watch Madarame Yonekuni, be at his beck and call, he had to work what missions and assignments that were sent his way.

Despite the fact that Malory was finding his situation funny, he couldn't help the little bit of pride at the fact that Malory, someone who rarely praised anyone, told him he was of the few people to complete what was given to him with little blood being shed.  Which, depending on if it was just information that he needed to know or if he was being ordered to take down a person or two.  Shirou, of course, knew that majority of hits that were requested were never sent his way, he was better at retrieving information and classified documents than any of his coworkers.

It shouldn't have been a shock that Malory was familiar with Madarame Makio.  Money talked and Malory was always eager to get her hands on whatever money came her way.  The heavyweight snake had more than enough to get Malory's attention.

Shaking his head, and wondering how much of his life seemed to be spiraling out of control.  In the back of his mind, he could hear Malory's voice and the normal distaste that she sometimes held when she had to deal with him.  At least he didn't have to be around the woman any further than necessary.  For the most part, he had to deal with her over the phone and email, which made his job much easier.  Holding back a snort, knowing his other coworkers had to deal with her and her micro-managing.

Out of the corner of his eye the bundled blond paused and reached out with a gloved hand, grasping at his jacket and stopped him, words muffled before a sound that resembled a heavy sigh before the scarf was lowered away from lips.

"How do you know my mom?"  The blond's deep voice, lips red and moist while blue eyes searched his.

Shirou swallowed, tearing his attention away.  He should have expected that question, briefly wondering why the teenager didn't ask it earlier, considering how he reacted to finding out Yonekuni's family name.  If he hadn't had that type of reaction to the Madarame name, considering it wasn't a common family name, he would have been able to school his reaction and not have to answer Yonekuni's question.

Giving his lower lip a quick lick, Shirou knew he could lie to his charge.  But given the fact he would be spending a more time than he was comfortable with with the teen, he would most likely pester the hell out of him to find out before resorting to asking Makio.  Which, given how noisy Yonekuni's mother is, the blond wouldn't be satisfied with just a basic lie.

"I've had the _pleasure_ ," Shirou's words were hissed out between nearly clenched teeth, the memories of being a teenager after just losing his parents, "of working with your mother in the past.  I never thought she would be able to get a hold of me so easily again."

He gave Yonekuni a sidelong glance, silently blaming the teen for bringing him to his mother's attention and well within her grasp.

"She tends to get her way more often than not, and since she's teamed up with my boss, I'm at her mercy once more," Shirou blew out a breath, trying not to let his irritation at being back into the snake's nest show.  The blond didn't know his history with Makio, didn't know the trouble he caused since now Makio and Malory were in cahoots together, against him.

"Seeing as I am now bodyguard as well as an agent for Malory, I still have to work missions for her.  I hope you're prepared," the slight feeling of triumph that filled him was pushed down by the fact that he had to keep an eye on both his targets and his ward.  More work for him to do, leaving him to gather the intel that he needed and keep the teen safe.

Briefly wondering what he did in his past life to have his world turned upside down, Shirou glanced at the heavyweight once more.  At his side, having no clue as to the inner turmoil that was going through him at this very moment.  Here he was, head throbbing from both the stitches and the growing frustration of everything spiraling out of his control and into those that wanted both money and power.

Reaching into his pocket for his hotel key, Shirou calmed himself.  It wouldn't do him any good to let his irritation being taken out on the unaware male.

"We'll discuss this away from prying eyes, Madarame-san," Shirou kept his tone formal and distant, his eyes watching and catching the faintest changes in the blond's expression at the use of his family name.  A look up and down the empty hallway behind them, slipping his key inside and unlocking the door.

"If you'll follow me," expression blank, holding the door open so the blond could enter before closing the door behind him.  The press of a button, soft light forcing the darkness away and the impressed sound that came from the younger male.  The dead bolt slipped into place, the small peephole was checked before being covered up.  Out of the corner of his eye, Shirou caught Yonekuni hesitated at the plush chair.  Waving his hand towards the piece of furniture.

"Take a seat, I'll just be a moment," closing the curtains, he knew he was being overly cautious about everything, he could even hear his coworkers words in his head.  Yet he was able to complete majority of his missions without drawing attention to himself.  His bed still neatly made, items he had left this morning were still in place.  No one but themselves had entered his room.

"So," a drawl from the teen, detecting the nervousness that the blond was trying not to show, "what's with all this?" He waved his hands towards all the precautions he was giving, sweeping the room for any planted bugs, even if he knew no one had been in his room.

"Since you're now under my charge, there's a lot you need to know," Shirou explained, grabbing two bottles of water from the mini-fridge, "and no one else.  Your security is top priority and since I also have to continue to take work from Malory Archer while guarding you, everything I'm telling you _you_ need to follow."

Handing Yonekuni one of the bottles, Shirou took a seat across from Yonekuni.  Cracking the seal of his bottle, taking a drink of the cold water.

Blue eyes watched him intently, something Shirou was used to.  Normally it wouldn't bother him, but now it made him feel uncomfortable, a sensation of being studied in the way he studied and treated his targets.  Taking a moment to gather his thoughts, he took a deep breath only to release it seconds later.

"It's obvious that you do need security detail and for whatever reason, you chose me," a forced smile, his shoulders dropping as the teenager remained quiet, studying him.

"What- no," a shake of his head, wanting to run his fingers through his hair.

"Since we'll be spending a lot of time together, there's some ground rules that you need to learn and follow."

For the first time since he started talking did the blond show any sort of reaction.  Shirou forged ahead before Yonekuni could speak up and oppose.

"You'll need to listen to me when it comes to your safety.  If I say go, you go.  Don't take your time, just go.  Get to cover.  This is extremely important when Malory gives me work and I- you have to come with me."

"What kind of work?" Yonekuni asked, head cocked a little with a sly smirk playing at his lips.

Shirou pressed his, clenching his fingers around the water bottle, the plastic crinkling.  "You obviously must have an idea, since you were able to contact your mother about me," he retorted.  "Missions, my work, is to gather intel that could be of further use.  Be it for political or military reasons, they call, I go.  Since I know have to guard you _and_ do this, you'll be coming along whenever I'm called in.  Be expected to go at the drop of a hat because it can and will happen."

Another drink of his water, wishing he had taken up the offer for painkillers.  Shirou paused for a moment, also wishing he had taken the bartender's offer the night before.  At least he would have an enjoyable memory to think about during this.

Finishing the water, Shirou hummed, tossing the empty bottle into the trash before turning his attention back to the blond.  "Because of what I do, you have no say while we're away.  Can you complain?  Sure, go right ahead.  I don't care if you do.  I'd imagine you'll be bored while I'm working, I would prefer it if you stayed in the hotel room.  If you have the urge to move, at least stay in the hotel.  _Don't_ interfere," pressing his hand against the plush cushion, Shirou gave Yonekuni a hard look.  "I cannot stress that enough.  You interfere, mention anything or even talk to my targets, they'll be tipped off and that'll make my work that much harder."

"I hope you're ready to be shadowed _everywhere_ ," he couldn't help the mocking smirk curl at his lips, wondering how long it would be before Yonekuni vocalized the unfairness.

"You don't know how much I'm looking forward to it," came the reply, Yonekuni matching his look.

Silently taking that as a challenge, and while he took his work seriously, he could have a _little_ fun in this whole mess.


End file.
